My time

Treyson and I stayed in our small apartment for about 3 years when I noticed a man in his backyard playing with his Dobermans. It was just a joke naming him my “eye candy” while I was single. With Treyson’s daddy issues I couldn’t get myself to get close to anyone, afraid they would leave us just like Tyler did. Instead, I created a “friends of benefits, of sorts”. Technically there was more than one but one was what I hoped would eventually turn into something more. 

Isn’t it funny how shows, books or whatever have such an impression or relatable experience. During that time, I was a Sexy and The City fan and Mr. Big was very familiar to me. My Mr. Big was what I thought I wanted from my son; he wasn’t a father but had the potential to be a great father. That was all I could see in him, someone to be my son’s replacement father. That was toxic in itself and Treyson and I went to therapy for our “daddy issues”, more for Trey than me. 

My “daddy issues” were not part of my life anymore, my dad and I decided a DNA test wasn’t worth it. He told me he always saw me as his daughter and didn’t want a piece of paper to tell him differently. That was the ultimate dad response ever! That’s when I decided to drop the “daddy issues” for me and focus more on a dad for Trey. 

While Mr.Big and I had our whatever you call it, I was demanding Tyler to be a dad. He was not going to get off so easily. I would call him over and over again until he would answer. One time someone did answer, a woman telling me to move on and he didn’t want me anymore. Taken back at the woman’s voice I was shocked which turned into anger pretty quickly. I told her I didn’t want him and the only reason I want anything to do with him is because we have a son together. To her surprise, she wasn’t even aware of Treyson, even with Tylers front neck tattoo that said “Treyson James” inside a ribbon with roses and a cross above his name. She, and I‘m sure others as well, assumed the tattoo on his neck was a memorial tattoo and didn’t ask to not pry.