My time

Anyways, while my grandparents are down in Mexico trying to save my grandmother. My parents, Uncle MJ, and Aunt Courtney all made plans to go down to Mexico to visit their mom during treatment. Something had come up and apparently my mother made the decision to wait for the next coming weekend to visit. The original weekend they planned to visit was unfortunately the weekend my grandmother had a heart attack and passed away. 

This was back in the 1980s, if you died in Mexico you were buried there. My grandfather refused to leave my grandmother down there alone. He put her in the back seat of the car. He drove her across the border with a blank over her, telling them she’s ill and tired. When he finally made back in our hometown, my grandmother’s body was swollen and not recognizable. 

This is supposedly when my mother’s issues became extreme. She blames herself for not being there for her mom. I don’t know the relationship my mother and her mother had, so I will never truly understand how she feels. At the same time, my mother’s brother and sister were functioning fine to the outside, why couldn’t she?!

It’s about acceptance, accepting our trauma, accepting the things we can not control. Acceptance is not easy, but avoiding it is so much worse. My mother became a hoarder, she had a path to her bed. She has many other little things, like her obsession with pens and counting her steps. The hoarding was an issue for my dad, and later for me, but now just her, JT and Trey’s problem.

Back when my parents were together my mother got a laptop and started sitting out in the living room while on it. This was a change from always being in her bed watching TV. This became an issue for me since I would come home to a pile of essentially trash next to her chair. This would pile up in just a day, all with my brother and his girlfriend cooking and making messes was just too much for me. 

My mother had been seeing a therapist since her mother passed away in 1987. I believe she has seen the same therapist all these years, most of the time she would go twice a week. To my knowledge, therapy is for trauma situations that help you accept and move on. That is, if you are 100% honest with your therapist. You only need them after for the triggers that come up. 

My mother dedicated her whole life to lies, manipulation, drama. I removed myself from the drama, the lies and the manipulation. But it wouldn’t be the last of her scams!