My time

Two days after Dave left, I woke up with so much anger I had to burn my energy somehow. I did just that, with all of Dave’s items. I got boxes down from the attic, got packing supplies and started in our room and bathroom. I had all his clothes, shoes, everything out of the closet, boxed up and in the garage. Once the closet and bathroom were packed, I still had so much anger and started wrapping his furniture I knew he would want. I even put bubble wrap around his dresser, desk, night stand, etc. By Saturday night, I had everything of his packed I knew he would take or want. I took a picture of all his stuff in the third bay garage and sent it to him with no words. 

He called me probably six times before I finally answered, he’s crying asking me what that stuff was, that I can’t be doing this to him now, blah blah. I told him that I was really done, I have tried and put all I could into us this past year, while he drank, played video games, and verbally abused me and Trey and I was not taking it anymore. I told him I would file the divorce papers Monday, which I did. 

Again, everything went smoothly, Dave didn’t come back until we got the house sold and he came with his dad to get his stuff and his dogs. I left work knowing Dave was at the house packing up for the last time. I wanted to see him, I wanted him to tell me he would change, that we were worth it. I wanted to still love him, I wanted to “want” to stay and keep trying. If I could just look into his eyes one more time. 

When I looked into his eyes, they were distant, disconnected, lost. I wrapped my arms around him one last time, and he whispered in my ear, “I didn’t know it was this bad, I‘m sorry”. I just stood there, watched him walk away, then drive the U-Haul away.