My time

Tyler and I both had tears in our eyes looking at what we made together. Some one asked about what his name will be, I hadn’t officially picked a name yet. I really like Remington James Shaffer, call him Remi for short. That was what I thought, until I saw him, he looked more like a Treyson. I said “I‘m leaning towards Treyson” and Treyson cooed at the perfect time that Tyler and I looked at each other, smiled, and said “his name is Treyson, that’s what he wants”. 

Thinking about this moment makes me so happy and warm, its definitely one of my favorite memories. I still remember Tylers face, how happy he was, how much I saw in his eyes he could change and be a great dad. He had the potential and already talked about the things he wanted to do different than what his dad did for him. This pregnancy was going to be the best thing for us and keep Tyler on track! 

Even though Trey was born just after midnight on Sunday, they released me Monday! I hadn’t taken any pain medicine, I was up moving around, no stitches needed (my doc wasn’t kidding about the back and forth on a yoga ball), and ready to go home. The trip home was surreal, the dad driving the mom and son home, be a family like we previously “planned” hypothetically. In reality, dad driving on a revoked license with passengers in the backseat, that could look like we were kidnapped. 

The first week of being home was hard, Trey was jaundice, not enough to be under the light at the hospital, but enough the doctor wanted to see him every day. This was what I wanted, home to get time together and to sit out in the sun, which also help with jaundice. We went to the doctor every day that first week. Some disagreements between me and Tyler were really just his mothers opinion, not the doctors advice. Every day we went to see the doc, get Treys levels checked and each day he dropped little by little. I trusted the doctor I chose for my son, Cindy didn’t like me not taking her advise. That didn’t stop her from going through Tyler to try to get me to do what she wanted. 

I wasn’t one to give in, especially to someone that doesn’t have my best interest. Cindy may tell others she just wanted to help, but ultimately she was just like my mother. This wasn’t just eye opening to me, more like a kick in the face. How had I not seen it before? I knew in my heart I was doing the right thing for my son, and I stood my ground. 

Cindy is a Case Manager in the hospital we worked, but she was more about fashion than patients, in my opinion. The bleached hair, fake nails and eyelashes, full face of makeup, and the wardrobe to match. That’s all Cindy was about, her image and what people thought of her. She had me convinced Tyler was a decent person, manipulated me into trying to change her son. The really messed up thing is, that I really did love and care about him so much, until Treyson came into the world. 

Even today, knowing that Tyler is still struggling and still enabled by his mother. I see where Tyler won’t grow up because his mom won’t let him. Now I’m in the position I have to make Treyson grow up. Before we get into his “adulthood” lets go back to his younger years.