My time

By the time school started, Emma had a better attitude and was easier to wake up than Trey. Trey gave up all together that year.

I had to make my decisions, based off his decisions.

We had weekly appointments with Chris, as well as Emma did. They knew the expectations and chose differently. By the end of September Trey hadn’t been in school even one day, instead he would hide at the school.

Come to think of it, I got a call from the school on my first day at my new job and had to go get him. I was lucky they didn’t fire me; they had every right to then, key word.

Every morning I would dread my days, it was the same thing over and over, nothing changed, nothing got better. 

I had finally had enough of Trey’s decisions affecting me daily. 

I set up an appointment with Chris for Trey and I both. 

I had already had other sessions without Trey to prepare me for this, I felt like I was ready, but I did not know the outcome. We sat down with Chris and explained to Trey why we were here. I reminded him of the rules in the house, the expectations for school and work. I explained that he can no longer stay in my house, that I had contacted a Teen Shelter for him to stay. I explained that this was temporary, depending on his choices. He immediately started screaming and yelling, Chris did his best to calm him. Trey refused to go to the teen shelter and asked to step outside to cool down. 

While Trey was outside, Chris and I discussed the options again, this was the only option we had left, we tried every thing else. Once Trey came back in, he said he wanted to live with his friend X. “X” is another one that is not worth giving a name too, wish he wasn’t worth mentioning at all. Anyways…

I looked at Chris with confusion and asked Trey to step back out for a minute. I wasn’t expecting him to live somewhere else, all our family was in Illinois, never thought his “friends” parents would allow it. 

Chris and I talked about it and I knew then Trey was going to do whatever he wanted and I had to deal with it. This is where Chris came in to help, he reminded me that I need to do what’s best for me, Trey is making his own decisions. I told Chris that if he went with X that his life would be ruined forever. I told Chris that if he left with X then I could never let him come back home. This is where Chris reminds me, manipulating and enabling go hand in hand. I needed to stop enabling him and get him to stop manipulating me. 

Trey came back in and we discussed the options again. I said “if you go to the teen shelter it will be temporary, but if you go with X and his family, you won’t be able to come back home ever again.” With Trey’s quick reply of “ok, fine”, I wasn’t convinced he completely understood, I looked at Chris to help. Chris explained it again, if you choose the shelter you can go back home, if you choose X’s house you will not be welcomed back at your moms.

Trey’s face lit up and said he understood.