That was not the reality though, the first time he walked right up asked, “where are the boys?”. He didn’t seem happy at all, then he took the sledgehammer from me and told me to go inside. I did and went right to my room and cried. He wasn’t happy I was out there doing what I could, he was upset the boys weren’t there. I felt like he didn’t want my help, only help was good enough from the boys. That didn’t stop me from doing it again the next day and the next. Every day after that I would be out there busting the concrete to the best of my ability. Every day dad came home, if the boys weren’t doing it, he told me to go inside. If the boys were actually helping he never said a word to me.
I guess that’s when it became apparent to me that if I wanted to be like the boys, I had to be with the boys! Nick and I were always closer than me and Ben. Nick and Ben had their rooms in the basement right next to each other. You couldn’t put two more people that were complete opposites together. Ben, first born and “the favorite one”, was calm quiet and took after my dad with building and fixing things. Ben had a Lego city he kept in his room, eventually make-shifting a door to keep Nick out and from destroying the city.
I don’t know why they didn’t have doors, but Ben made a door, out of a piece of wood my dad in the yard probably, and placed a padlock on it. You think I‘m lying, ask Ben, he will tell you! Ben and Nick fought a lot due to being complete opposites and their rooms next to each other. Nick was hyperactive, always on the move and didn’t want to slow down for anyone.
Nick was more my friend because he did all the exciting things, while Ben played legos. Nick and I always had a good time, shooting Barbie’s off the ledge in the living room, climbing trees, shooting Bebe guns. It was always an adventure with Nick, even sneaking out of the house at night just to walk around and hide from cars, it was a game to us. We never did anything too bad, but we were always pushing the limit, especially our parents limits.
I don’t recall the age I was, but I remember telling my parents I love them before bed. My dad would say “yeah, me too” or something close to that. One night I told them good night and told my dad he had to say the words “I love you too” before I leave to go to bed. I pushed and pushed him to say it. First time, I’m pretty sure he made me cry because he yelled at me to go to bed. But every night after that I would say it to him and wait for him to say it back.
One night he did it, he actually said the words “I love you too, now go to bed”. In that moment I was so proud of myself. I broke my dad’s habit, and he finally expressed his love with words. My dad was always caring and loving, he just couldn’t express his feelings until now. My mother on the other hand was an emotion disaster. How could two people be complete opposites and be in love? They don’t, it was all a lie. We will get into that later.
My time 