My time

I started a new show in Netflix, “The Big C”. It’s only got four seasons, but they did a damn good job of the show. I beinged watched the shit out of it these 6 days off work. Last night I finished it, not realizing it was a full moon. The gist of it is a woman gets stage four cancer and goes through the emotions and how a family is affected as well. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading because I will ruin it for you. 

At the end, where Cathy is dying, her son worked over time at a young age of 16 to graduate early so his mom could see him graduate. She says it many times throughout and eventually accepted that she wasn’t going to make it. He surprised her the morning of her death with the principal and his diploma in hand. 

That moment just about killed me. My son was 16 when he dropped out of high school and has yet to get his GED three years later. 

I thought what if I was dying? Would that motivate my son to want a better future? 

People that are trying to be supportive tell me he still has time to make things right. But he’s 18, still on drugs, still being enabled by his grandmothers and probably his father too. That just makes me believe he’s fucked, until they all die essentially.  

Call me cold or heartless, but a mother wants the best for her kids, no matter the cost. The cost wouldn’t be too bad, as I don’t have a relationship with anyone of those three dumbfucks. Tyler doesn’t have to die, he will be back in prison in no time. Cindy never stopped enabling Tyler, still to this day, she would also have to die or lose everything to get her to stop.

Now my mother, shes just waiting to die at this point, so patience is a virtue.