My time

People ghost because they have something to hide, they don’t want to accept their behavior, they want to erase us completely to not feel guilty. They ghost you to deny your existence, if you don’t exist, it didn’t happen. That’s how I’ve always seen it. I have emailed, reached out through LinkedIn, tried in ways not to be annoying. Sometimes it was out of anger, leaving Trey the way he did. 

Trey wasn’t his burden but he also demanded to be respected as “dad”, I can recall. I recall a lot of details I should have noticed, towards me with Dave. Never imagined he was teaching a behavior to a boy who begged for a father. Dave was Treyson’s hero, which took a long time for me to accept. I always thought I would be his hero, I even tried in my own ways, but never was. 

Dave taught Trey how to ride a bike, through a football, flirt with girls, stand up for himself, be a man. What I refused to see was how much he lifted our spirits, he could tear you down below you never thought existed. While Trey was young, I kept him from “Dave’s moments”, by putting headphones on and giving him handheld game. We would go on rides in the car, when I thought Dave had cooled down or passed out. Sometimes, it was best to just stay in the guest room, “act like it was a hotel” I would tell Trey. 

I was always keeping Trey from seeing the worst in people, now he only sees the worst in me. It’s not my fault, nor his, its about want you accept truly happened, learn from it, and move on. Trey is too immature, uneducated, and unmotivated to see his truth, his version of his life. Until then, I will wait.