My time

I did, still doing the same for Matt, providing insight on his situation, provide resourceful advice, point out the red flags. In my way, I still am with Trey by allowing him to figure it out on his own. He’s only 18, but he should have grown up two years ago when he decided his life was better without my influence. I can’t make anyone see what they don’t want to, but I refuse to enable them. 

I did my first live on Onlyfans, naked yoga which I like to call Menopause Yoga. I can sweat doing literally nothing with these damn hot flashes. I had to turn the fan on just to get through it. It’s crazy how the older you get that things get harder to do or keep up with. Ultimately, I don’t actually care to be fit, look perfect. There are plenty of women that look perfect, I would rather look real, no filters, no edits, just me. 

That is what I want out of all of this, for people to see me as me. I don’t have the urge to want more, to dream big, to beg for money. I just want enough to live off of comfortably and start living my life. I want to travel, meet new people, experience things I never thought possible. 

I met another guy on Facebook dating, Tim and he’s 52. He is definitely in the same “place” as I am. He sent me a YouTube video of “The Beauty of Awakening” by Alan Watts. I literally brought to tears listening to this man example “awakening” and how much I feel everything he is saying. Its comforting to know there are others out there that feel close to where I am in my life. The no stress, let things happen as they come. If you haven’t heard it, I highly recommend listening to any of Alan Watts videos, very inspiring!

Tim and I have already made a connection without even meeting in person. He’s been doing the same job, Off-Shore Mechanic, for over 10 years and still appreciates the sunrise/sunset every day. He sent me this mornings sunrise and it was stunning. The fact he doesn’t take it for granted makes me want to know him more. Neither of us have expectations of what this may become and that’s comforting.