My time

I’m in a completely different state of mind, I feel beautiful when I have a great attitude about myself. I don’t need others approval to feel beautiful, I rely on myself to feel beautiful. If I don’t like how I feel, I change my mindset, the only thing I can actually control. I can’t control my weight, like I used to, I can’t control a lot of my physical appearance. Meaning, if I don’t like my weight, I can’t change that right now, tonight, but I can control my mindset about it. 

Anyways, I shower, throw some jean shorts, tank top, and my boots on. Put my face lotion on, little blush, eyeliner, and I’m ready! All while, Malea is still putting makeup on. I’m waiting, long enough to ask, how long she thinks she might be, and I get “9pm or so”. Holy Shit, this bitch going to take over two hours to get ready?! She’s trying to “feel beautiful” so I need to be patient. 

She finally says she’s ready and…she’s wearing the wrong socks with her new boots and the shirt we bought is uncomfortable. She ended up wearing boots she already had with a shirt she also already had. So, the only thing she wore out that was new, was one of the pair of jeans we bought. The whole drive there I’m getting in the dancing mood, while Malea talks about her anxiety and her past times. 

We finally get there and it’s $20 to get in which I knew was coming. We get there about 9:30pm, still early, but already packed and dance floor is busy! as I take it all in, watching all the different couples, different dance moves, etc. I get asked to dance within minutes of being there. I warned the guy, I didn’t know how to line dance, and he happily took me out to the dance floor. He spun me around and got moves I never had, I tried to keep up with him as much as possible. 

The song ended and I was already winded and needed water, that was another $4 for two waters, one for Malea. She sees the band start up and wants to go stand in front, in between the band and dance floor. I’m enjoying it all, the lights, music, dancing, the band…until Malea says “I’m bored”. I told her to get rid of the RBF and maybe someone will ask her to dance, she doesn’t want to dance. I asked what she expected when coming to this bar, the bar she chose, and she said “this, but I dont know, I’m just bored”. 

It took everything inside me not to just start screaming at her right there in front of the band, security, strangers, all of them. She knew it too, so she said she wanted to walk around and look at everything. We take a lap and she says “can we just go?” With a whine that made me want to smack her. I told her we just got there, it wasn’t even 10pm yet, so try to enjoy the band at least. She couldn’t even do that, after a few minutes, it’s “can we go now?” With an attitude.

I gave up and started heading out the door, fucking furious.