My time

Besides the continuous drama of my life, I met someone! This past weekend a guy actually stepped up and asked me on a legitimate date! He gave me a place to meet and a general time frame to choose. Now, some may say that “if he asked the same day, it’s a last minute, no thought put in, or even because he was bored or someone else cancelled”. I say, who the fuck cares what the reason is?

He wanted to meet at a Thai place, he knows the owners, and I’ve never had  authentic Thai food. We met in the parking lot to walk in together, per his request and I appreciated it. Right as I was about to walk in the restaurant, my heel broke. This was inconvenient at best but wasn’t going to ruin my night. He seemed to want to help, offered to go get new shoes, which was sweet but not necessary. 

We met, we ate, we laughed, we talked, we connected, and we went back to his place. This was my ideal date, tried new and good food, met new and good people, and had the good time. After dinner we weren’t ready to end the date so I followed him to a bar half way from my place and his. Again, something very considerate of him to even consider this. 

Unfortunately, this bar changed and was closing by 11pm, I think it was. He offered another place to go to keep talking, but on the way there I changed my mind. We were on the phone already and I said “why dont we just go back to your place”, as he was backing into a spot and immediately put it in drive. I laughed and followed him back to his place. We had a great night, had an even more of a connection, physical connection, if you know what I mean. 

I stayed the night and left before noon, I don’t know what did it but I had to get away and get my head straight. I don’t usually compare men to other men but he reminded me so much of Matt, personality wise. I did go back again, relaxed a bit, talked, had our fun, etc. The next day I drove him to the airport for his two week work schedule in California. 

Life is all trial and errors, that’s what I did this past week. Nabiha needed a babysitter and I thought this would be perfect! I love kids and this would be easy money, play all day and get paid, and still do my Onlyfans/Social Media. Well, I’m not sure if you were aware, I just turned forty-one years OLD, a few weeks ago. I mention this because this has been the hardest week on my back I never considered. 

Every day I came home to massage, ice, repeat, on my back. I forgot how much physical movement you need all day with younger kids. Up and down from the floor, bending and picking up kids, etc. Literally, my favorite ages for kids, three year olds are hilarious and all one year olds or younger like to be cuddled. I loved it, all day, every day, but holy fuck the pain. I had been struggling everyday, but I usually can adjust to the pain with massages and ice. 

Pain is not something I can ignore anymore, maybe I am getting old, maybe its getting worse, or maybe it’s in my head. Either way, pain is slowing me down and starting to affect my everyday life when it’s this bad. I can’t afford to keep getting deep tissue massages to get by. I struggled to let down Nabiha about doing it full time, I wanted this to work for both of us.

I’m going to take these few days to recover, heal, and get my strength back.