My time

This mother fucker really knows how to keep me pissed the fuck off. 

Why do I still think he can be a friend to me after he’s treated me? How did he become the victim in his head?? He was the one cheating on me for two years with his ex-wife. But I‘m the crazy bitch that can’t get over shit. 

Anyways, an unexpected event happened today, I signed to close on the house. I still had no feelings, I faked being happy about it. In some way I am, glad I‘m out from under that debt, I can get my shit together now. But other than that, nothing, not happy, not sad, just nothing. Even now, hours later, I still feel absolutely nothing.

Maybe that’s a good thing?

If I’m really being honest with myself, I was more worried about seeing Matt on my way home. I signed papers in Arlington, near the airport, where his latest project was. Every fucking gray car my heart would sink. I can’t tell if I want to see him or actually try and avoid from seeing him. Maybe both, it is post-full moon, there’s that. 

Fuck me! Every time I stand up for myself, not in a rude way, just a casual conversation about what I’m dealing with, and I get bullshit in return. I stand up for myself with Trey, Matt, anyone in my personal life and get same results.

Now, I have to deal with it at work as well? Let’s get into it shall we.