I have good days and bad, today is probably week two without my antidepressants, strictly THC at night. I still feel nothing about selling my house, now supposed to close in three days, hopefully. I still get frustrated that I couldn’t get the house to work with, well, anyone. I originally got it for Trey,…

I think to myself “some day we can be friends just like Chad and I are now”. In reality, I doubt that will be possible. I looked at that man as my husband more than Dave, who I actually married. How can we go from friends, to lovers, to together forever, to nothing. We can’t…

I can feel myself wanting support, emotional support, and I can’t be dependent on anyone emotionally. I still think of Matt all the time, curious if he’s ok, if he’s as miserable emotionally as I am. Not that it matters, we obviously can’t make it work.  This makes me want to crawl back into a…

You know how when you’re young and you get your first orgasm, its intense, like a lighting bolt through your entire body orgasm? Well, I have came a lot in my forty years, not once had I ever felt like “my water broke” during one. Not kidding you, I had the BIGGEST Craziest orgasm ever…

Let’s first start off with, he got me a gift, a gift I never saw cuming, pun intended. After us just talking, he went and bought me a vibrator, a sexual toy to pleasure me, not him. A man has only known me a week and knows more about my sexual tension or drive more…

I pull up still in awe of the drive and just the free feeling of being “nowhere”, so peaceful. Now, if one of the kids told me about this story I’d be worried about them getting killed, but at this point in mind life, who cares. The openness of his yard, the peaceful nature surrounding…

All my life I chose people to be in my life, but they never truly chose me. If they did choose me it was for something, never nothing. My son left because he didn’t like my rules. Matt left because he couldn’t love me. It’s not even about love, it’s about caring for someone else…

Tyler text me telling me he never forgave himself, I’m sure that’s true. I told him I forgave him many years ago, but Trey needs him now more than ever. I’m not mentally capable of taking care of anyone, that realization came to me abruptly last night. Zach, classmate of mine, has been helping me…

I started my job this week, so far I can tell I will get along with Nabiha and our manager Ester. Of course, there’s drama, you put too many women together and jealousy bullshits starts. Thankfully, Ester is on top of it, she says, and apologies for it constantly, and makes sure Nabiha and I…

I have more and more of an understanding to people like Robin Williams. If he’s not laughing, he’s crying alone. He suffered internally that no one can truly understand. Even if he tried to explain it, you will never know the extent he had to live with it. This may make people think my suicidal,…